Does your kid actually know how to be a good friend — or are they just hoping the right friends find them?
In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Sissy Goff and David Thomas, therapists at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, hosts of the Raising Boys and Girls podcast, and New York Times bestselling authors of Capable. Together they unpack why the back-to-school season triggers so much social anxiety in kids, and why shifting the focus from “how do I find friends” to “how do I be a good friend” is one of the most powerful reframes parents can offer, whether their child is walking into their very first kindergarten classroom or navigating the brutal social terrain of middle school.
What you’ll learn:
Why reframing “find a friend” as “be a friend” changes everything for anxious kids
The FAILS framework: teaching kids that awkward first interactions are just data, not failure
“Back pocket questions” kids can use to start conversations at lunch, recess, and beyond
Why middle school friendship struggles are developmentally normal (even when they look fine on the outside)
How to talk to kids about hard social moments without lecturing — the “breezy” approach
The “balcony friends” and “pacesetter” frameworks for helping kids recognize who’s actually good for them
RESOURCES & LINKS:
📖 About This Episode’s Guests, Sissy Goff & David Thomas
https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/about?srsltid=AfmBOooxvHK80JWyYOegbfKJ_Vcqn5ImOoRaHXE5109SNfAUPaMDb8SD
📚 Their Book, Capable:
https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/capablebook
🎙️ Their Podcast: Raising Boys and Girls:
https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/podcast
Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044
Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/
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